And so it’s down to ten ladies left.
We’re straight into it tonight, with the single date card. Jess grabs the card, clears her throat, and reads it out: “Are you falling for me? – Laurina”.
Laurina is squealing at the prospect of heading out for her first one-on-one date with 31-year-old Blake Garvey.
“I was ecstatic. I am so ready for this one-on-one time with Blake,” she said. But I'm not sure if she realises this means she'll have to talk and interact with him.
It’s no secret that Laurina is pretty much everyone else’s least favourite person on the show, but Amber’s actually keen to see how the date pans out.
“There’s been this controversy with Laurina and whether she’s here to promote herself all for whatever it is that she’s doing in life, versus being here for the right reasons – falling in love, finding a relationship, getting to know Blake,” she says.
I think this is an excellent opportunity for Blake to get to know Laurina. I want Blake to spend an entire day with Laurina – see how that goes.”
Laurina arrives, and skydiving is on the agenda. We’ve already previously visited Blake’s fear of heights, and it’s a miserable, rainy day. But Blake’s keen to go ahead as planned.
They take off in the plane, Laurina holding Blake’s hand to calm him.
And then it happens. The moment we’ve all been waiting for.
We get to watch the effect high speeds and g-forces have on Laurina’s face as she plummets to the earth. There’s mouth and teeth and cheeks everywhere.
“It was so incredibly painful, the rain belting against my face. All I could think was, ‘no, not my face’,” said Laurina.
As Laurina and her tandem sky diver are coming into land, the instructor is asking her about the jump, trying to get a nice grab about how amazing it was. Laurina has other things on her mind.
“I wouldn’t mind just retying my hair so I don’t look atrocious,” she says, after it had whipped the poor instructor’s face on the way to earth.
I’m not sure what happened with Blake. He screamed or something on the way down and then landed.
Back at the pad, host Osher Gunsberg pops in for his obligatory minute, and explains the group date is going to be at a childcare centre, given Blake’s affinity for his family. Alana, Amber, Jess, Lisa, Sam and Kara will all be tagging along.
The girls are estatic, and it seems like it’s going to be a fight for who loves kids the most.
“I would say I’m the most clucky person ever,” says Kara.
“I love kids and I’m not gonna lie, kids love me,” says Amber.
“I love children and having a lot of children around would just be great for me,” says Alana.
For the ending to the one-on-one date, the camera’s get to go where they’ve never gone before: Blake has taken Laurina back to his place.
It’s just your regular guy’s place, really – overflowing candles, low light, flowers and an open fireplace.
She’s the first girl he’s brought back there.
“I felt really privileged – it was an honour to be the first girl he’s brought there and it’s a symbol in the process that he’s starting to open up more himself,” she says.
They’ve barely made it in the door, and Laurina asks, “Do you mind if I freshen up a little?” Seriously Laurina, you’ve been on camera for about 20 seconds. Give it a rest.
Blake gets shaking and whips up some espresso martinis, and then it’s over for a cosy chat on the couch.
The bachelor says the words no one ever thought we'd hear: “I realised I’m finally getting this girl, I understand what she’s about.”
Blake hands her a rose, and they kiss.
But the real fun starts when Laurina gets back to the mansion.
She struts on in with her rose, and then goes on to explain in vivid and exaggerated detail about her date with Blake.
“It was one of the most intense experiences of my life,” she exclaims.
Then she’s crying, and violently gesturing and compares the experience to The Passion of the Christ.
Chantal is open-mouthed, not quite sure she can believe what she’s hearing: “I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know where to look. It was the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard.”
She’s less chatty though when it comes to talking about their kiss, describing it as, “a couple of nice little pecks at the end.”
Next up it’s group date time. Blake’s sitting on a floor surrounded by kids and showing off his massive arms. I can hear ovaries around the country exploding.
The girls all walk in and they are equally as impressed with the cuteness of the children.
Alana is particularly taken with the kids: “There were a few of them I definitely wanted to bring home with me,” she said.
On the agenda is planting, tea parties, sand pit play and face painting.
Lisa asks Blake how many kids he wants, and he replies, “at least six”. I suppose when you’ve got genes like that, it’s only fair to the human race.
Proving she has a problem with absolutely everybody, Amber’s not happy about Jess apparently encroaching on everyone’s Blake time.
“Out of the corner of my eye I see magical Jess magically appear. And then I just see her creeping closer and closer and closer and I’m like, ‘really? This is your tactic?’,” she says.
But Jess doesn’t see it that way.
“I think in any group situation there’s always going to be an element that isn’t fair because there’s just not enough time for Blake to get around to everyone,” she says.
Then it’s storytime, with Sam as narrator. Sam gives Amber a magical power, which she uses for evil to makes Jess disappear. Wanting his whole harem to play happy families, Blake makes Jess reappear.
Blake’s happy with how the day went: “It was good to get messy today. It was face painting it was mud it was dirt, it was all the rest of it. Everyone was – well, most were not afraid to get face paint on them and being silly.”
He’s referring to Alana, who looks like she’s stepped out of a Vogue photo shoot.
“I didn’t mind too much having my face still looking pretty for Blake,” she says.
“I think it’s a talent to be able to stay clean around 25 children and I think it’s good potentially when I am a Mum, because I don’t want to be playing with the children and getting dirty then going out shopping with face paint all over me. You need to be able to still be a Mum and still look like a Mum.”
This woman definitely has the whole mothering thing down pat.
The rest of the girls are all sad to say goodbye to the kids, giving them hugs. Alana extends a perfectly manicured hand and pats one of them on the head.
After a cocktail party which Chantal describes as, “like a party before a funeral,” it’s rose ceremony time and only Laurina’s safe. Osher gives us our dose of Bachelormaths.
“There are nine women without a rose, and Blake has only eight roses to give out tonight. One of you will be leaving the mansion this evening.”
Sam’s in, followed by Lisa, Jessica, Chantal, Louise, Amber and Kara.
It’s down to Zoe and Alana.
Zoe gets the rose and Alana’s out. There are a few shocked looks from the remaining girls, and Chantal’s crying.
Don’t worry Alana, you’ve got so much perfect mothering ahead of you.
On the next episode we’ve been promised a “Bachelor world first” – Big Brother’s favourite twist is happening, and the intruders are coming.
