There are two kinds of people in the world: people who think The Simpsons (Eleven, 8.30pm) is not what it once was, and people who haven't watched The Simpsons since 1999.
But as the saying that I just made up goes, the Beatles' B-sides are still better than Sherbet's greatest hits, and in the same way, the latter-day Simpsons may have declined, but can still beat most of the dross that TV networks attempt to rouse our senses with.
And after all, it's no disgrace to say you're not as good as The Simpsons used to be – for the better part of a decade, this show reached unmatched heights of TV comedy. Its sweet spot lasted longer than most sitcoms' entire lifespan, and there can be precious few programs that changed the TV landscape as much as the pride of Springfield.
And so, if the newer episodes occasionally feel a little saggy, a tad tired, a bit like your granddad discussing the Kardashians, there's enough gold remaining to make the continuation of a run that now exceeds a quarter of a century worthwhile.
It being the first week of March, and it being Australian free-to-air TV, this week's new episode is, naturally, a Halloween special, the significant Treehouse of Horror XXV, which means three short stories for the price of one: a format that probably suits the modern Simpsons' tendency towards attention-deficit quite well.
And there's plenty of Pardon My Zinger-type action in the three spooky tales. Beginning with Bart finding his calling at a new school in Hell, moving on to a Clockwork Orange parody that degenerates into a literal orgy of Kubrick references, and finishing with the family being haunted by familiar yet crudely drawn ghosts from the 1980s, it's a perfect showcase for the quick-fire one-liners and pop culture gags that the modern Simpsons specialises in.
It's also a reminder that if the passing of the years hasn't made The Simpsons funnier, it's at least made the Halloween eps more gruesome. Bart gets skinned, Homer gets mutilated, and a breezy bit of baby-murder finishes off – it might come off as rather dark if it weren't for the light and silly touch that the show brings to everything.
The Simpsons has always been masterful in ensuring that nothing is taken seriously, and even as the children who watched its early episodes raise children of their own, it's still an oasis of joy in life's tearful desert.
For something grittier, there's Winter (Seven, 9pm), the cop show specially designed to enable a vague Game of Thrones reference in the promos. Winter is the detective drama with a difference, although nobody's found out what that difference is – it's cookie-cutter crimebusting with Rebecca "Had enough yet?" Gibney.
This week Eve learns a shocking secret and someone close to her fights for their life.
