There is nothing new about domestic violence. Back in the late '90s, when I was writing ads for the NSW Police, I was shocked when my client told me it was the biggest single reason police got called. Violence in the home, they told me, had led call-outs for car theft, street crime and drug offences as far back as any copper could remember.
That's why the NSW Police Service (it's now called Force) was so keen to brief us to write some community-service commercials to raise awareness about the prevalence of domestic violence.
One was so successful I remember a newspaper reporting that magistrates were complaining that applications for Apprehended Violence Orders were clogging up the courts.
That complaint is interesting because it reveals how domestic violence was seen 20 years ago, even by our justice system. Instead of celebrating that women were standing up to brutal relationships, their courage was dismissed. Women escaping violence at home were seen as irritating, time-wasting and inconvenient. Given the statistics, I suppose some of them may have ended up dead.
A few years ago, feminist organisation Destroy the Joint began keeping a grim record of the number of women murdered annually in Australia. Midway through 2015, 45 women have died violently, the majority of them at the hands of their male partner. In 2014, the number was 84. That's a rate of almost two women a week.
This new focus on the human toll of domestic violence has been very powerful. It is wonderful to see how it has changed attitudes to intimate-partner violence and it is feminist organisations such as Destroy the Joint, and feminists such as Rosie Batty, who deserve the credit for that change.
They have called it what it is - a gender issue, and symptomatic of a society that still tolerates the view that women are the possessions of men. This change of attitude has been remarkably rapid and has mirrored the speed at which feminism has been brought roaring back onto the agenda by the unmediated access women now have to the public conversation.
Thanks to the internet, no one can gate-keep women's concerns any more. What they care about gains audiences and that brings power. A reason there is such vitriol aimed at women online is precisely because they have become such a powerful presence.
Domestic violence is private no more.
It is firmly on the public agenda and organisations that have toiled doggedly in this space for decades suddenly find themselves hailed as champions and able to raise funds in ways they never dreamt of.
As a result, women in violent relationships are being encouraged (literally given the courage) to leave. Which is great - but also high risk. People who work in this area know that women in abusive relationships are at greatest risk when they finally pluck up the courage to get away. Many of those who have been murdered had left or were attempting to leave when their partner struck. Women like Comrie Cullen, killed by her estranged husband on January 22, who left him in October 2013 but could not escape his desire for revenge. Or Lisa Harnum, thrown over a 15th-floor balcony in 2011 when her fiancée discovered she was leaving.
If we are going to encourage women to leave abusive partners - as we should - it is imperative we give them somewhere safe to go, and this is where we are failing horribly. Funding for women's refuges is being cut, many are closing, and there are reports of terrified women being turned away. Like those women "clogging up the courts" back in the '90s, some of them may also end up dead.
It is another form of abuse to turn society into a cheer squad noisily exhorting women to leave violent partners and then, when they do, to fall silent when it comes to finding them safe places to go. •
I'm reading
One of Us by Asne Seierstad. Seierstad is a Norwegian journalist who has written a compelling account of the life and crimes of mass murderer Anders Breivik, who in 2011 slaughtered 77 Norwegians in Oslo and on Utoya island. She has also given us intimate (and sometimes unbearably poignant) portraits of some of his young and idealistic victims, who were just bursting with potential. Forensic in its detail, it is hard going at times, but very moving. It is also a sharp warning about the consequences of ramping up fear.
I'm watching
I have just finished the final season of Mad Men. It is wonderful. Peggy and Joan both find what they have been looking for. Don remains an enigma. And Betty? Well, her fate is a kick in the guts. I will miss all the mad men and women - even
Pete Campbell - but it took until the very last episode for me to realise my favourite character is Roger Sterling, particularly as he now appears to have grown up. I will not give away any spoilers, but the final twist at the very end of the last episode is completely delightful and may well sell you a Coca-Cola.
I'm planning
My husband and I are sneaking a week away from Sydney's winter to visit the Maldives and I am busily dragging my summer clothes, sunhat, swimmers and sunscreen from the back of the wardrobe. As usual with overseas travel, we are checking visa requirements, passports and currency. However, once we arrive, I plan to swim, walk, read, eat, drink and otherwise do absolutely nothing.
